I'll always be a part of you
by JayJayJahnaiahxo
Summary: Elias is a stubborn , sassy , vivacious woman with a strong sense of will and shes battling a love so deep. She knows the rules, She abides by them. She is Gemmas girl. She will take The crown when the queen dies. She is The daughter she never had. She is by chance also Tara's excommunicated younger sister.
1. Same old , Same old.

~~!!NOTE!!~~

I wrote a story prior to this and it wasn't good at all. Instead of rushing into everything i slowed the pace of this story right down and have gone back to basics. The story will have reminisces of the original plot but as fanficition allows , this is my take on SOA. There will be hard subjects , matters and scenarios forewarning however i will put a warning before each chapter.

Please leave a review on this chapter so i can get better and also so i dont give you guys shitty reading material

Enjoy xx

My day started like everyother day.

6:50 am alarm.

10 minutes spent contemplating my employment and questioning if i really , really need this job or will I be okay to just spend the whole day in bed , however guaranteed i come to the conclusion that the Diner needs me and if I leave they'll go bankrupt. A bit self diluted but we will have to get up for something right?

Shower at 7:00 am .

Breakfast at 7:30 am .

Dressed , make up on and ready to leave by 8 am. This was my daily routine and it's been the same since I got out of highschool. I'm not a creature of change. I much perfer keeping everything the same. I find so much comfort in knowing what comes next. The unknown is terrifying. And the unknown is what I was about to dive into.

My drive to work was the same , the same houses. The same unpaved , ripped up roads and the same people walking their dogs.

I walk into the Diner chucking my hair into a pony tail hoping I can get away with this for waitressing today because I look like a puffer fish in a net.

"Hey Hey Eli" I heard from the kitchen

"Heeeeeeey bitcchhhh" I screamed at the top of my lungs rushing towards the loud , boisterous almost song like voice.

Upon entering the kitchen doorway I spot the voice and ran to hug her.

"Hey bestfriend - how was fuckathon 101 with Cody last night? "

"Well , his dick is bent and nasty , wasted a half a tank of gas and I got a flat this morning - Fuckathon was more like fuck-Saster" she replied nonchalantly.

"You live and learn you whore. Maybe give it a rest hey" I laughed.

"Anyway , what time did Les want us open since it's Sunday?"

"He said normal time but close an hour earlier since Sundays are never fucking exciting."

I turn on my heel and laugh , Heading towards the door to open up shop at exactly 9:30 , as I get to the door I see the usual suspects. Mr. Johnson for his morning blueberry pancakes and decaf coffee , Mrs. Welsh for her white chocolate latte , Mr. Link for his big breakfast of sausages and hasbrowns and Piney Winston or uncle Piney - Not because of relation but purely out of respect because he was there for my dad long before anyone gave a shit about him. He'd be here for his Sunday catchup with me about the family and a chai lattee - he swore me to secrecy about the lattee because it's a sissys drink.


	2. A coffee with Uncle Piney

Chapter 2

~!!AUTHORS NOTE!!~

Hi Guys ,

Thank you for the great reviews. I appreciate the kind considerate reviews. There were a few horrible ones but they were deleted. Its comforting to know majority of you dont hate it lol. I'm slow drawing Where i mention Tara but i promise it is coming. As for Jax and Eli well she's a simpleton and she's going to fight with her morals and her ego and Gemma before she finally lets Jax in.

So as always please dont be mean eitn reviews just let me know what you want to and do not want to see.

enjoy xx

"Hey Uncle Piney, Would you like the usual" I whispered with a smirk enveloping my face.

"Only if you have one made" Piney scoffed.

"Uncle P , This has been our routine for many years. I will always have a chai latte on the go."

"You're a dear. How's everything with you?" The old man asked , a crease between his brows became prevalent , showing just how much toll the years had taken on him.

"I'm actually really good Uncle P , I feel a wee bit better now the court case is done. Tara knows full fucking well i didnt hit her. She's a piece of fucking shit." By this point I could feel my heart racing , my fists balling up and my jaw clenching.

"woooooow , okay kiddo. Calm down. It's over. You look a lot better. More rested"

"Thanks - So how's ope dealing with the being out?" I tried to change the subject.

Piney winced at hearing his son's name , Knowing because of a son , HIS own son lost 5 years. HIS son lost time with HIS son's. Because of a son , a son was lost and son's missed out.

"He's adjusting to the straight life. Life on the other side of the law."

I couldn't help but feel my heart break for Opie. I grew up calling him my brother. My big brother , My protector. He and Jax saved me many more times than I've ever shown gratitude for and I haven't even send him since his return home.

"I'm gonna call him after I get off and see if he has time for his little old sister."

Piney smiled at me and I could see the light in his eyes were dimmed. He was running out of life. I've never seen uncle P like this , It frightens me. "He'd like that sweetie."

Admist our catch up and laughing I heard the bell from the door entry and Uncle Pineys eyes shot to whoever just opened it.

"Hey piney. Hey Eli" A loud voice echoed from behind. A sweet yet deep and mysterious voice. A voice that could wash away any anxiety or fear you have.

The foot steps got closer and a hand lay rest on my right shoulder. "Hey Jax" I exclaimed.

"Piney , chapel at 11:30 run up to Nevada." Jax bellowed before sniffing at the cup in front of Piney on the diner table. "what the fuck has she got you drink.."

Before Jax could finish speaking I snatched the cup up and thanked Piney for watching my drink.

"Uncle P was watching my chai latte. It's amazing , I don't suppose you want a sip biker boy ?" Hold the drink out infront of me.

"I'm good , I'll take a long black though" Jax chuckled trying to wave the smell from the air.

"I know how you like it" I flirted.

I couldn't help the feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I saw him , which was basically every fucking day.

"Hey tell your ma I'll be over at your place about 5 when you see her. I've gotta see ope first and then I'll go over and help her clean that big sty your junkie lived in"

"yeah alright Darlin , thanks for the drink. Come by the club when you're finished with ma"

I went back to take all the dishes back to the kitchen and by the time I got back they were gone , so i couldn't say no. But it wouldn't have been a Piney catch up without a big fat tip and I very rarely charge uncle P for his sissy drink.


	3. An overdue catch up

Chapter 3 - chapter 3

~!! AUTHORS NOTE !!~

Hi guys im so sorry for the delay i hit a writers block and just didnt know what would be good enough. I received mostly amazinf supportive reviews however from some lameo im suspecting the same anon a couple of "go kill your self" and the review that unfortunately made it's way to the comment section. Sorry my lovelies I will try to remove it.

You all who have been so kind have made a tough time so much better. Thank you i will be writing alot more and if this chapter is crap let me know and ill redo it with more articulation!!!

Work was a drag as it usually is. But again I enjoy the monotony of the knowing what is coming next.

I walk out of the diner an hour earlier than scheduled because as Renee predicted , nothing fucking exciting happens on a Sunday. I pull my iPhone out of my back work pants pocket and scroll through the contacts looking for "Big bro"

I push the green phone emblem and I get greeted with "Sorry the phone number you have dialled has been disconnected"

I screw my face up and decided to try Donna and success. 4 Rings and she answers wearily "Eli?"

"Hey sexy lady. How are you doing?"

"Elias why are you calling" Donna didn't sound happy at all , completely disregarding what I had said.

"Look I tried to call Ope and the phones been disconnected. Can I speak with him please , Donna. I just wanna talk to Ope. I just want to see the kids" my voice shaking.

"He's not here Elias. I told all of you when he fucking went away I wanted nothing to do with any of you. I was the one who got shit on for 5 god damn years. Clay and everyone he considered family sold him out" and then the line went quiet.

I hated people hanging up on me , I think it's my ego because I can't get the last word in. I'm still trying to work on that though as it's what got me in hot water with that slut sister of mine and Deputy Hale.

I shook my head trying to calm down and shake the urge of wanting to drive across town to punch her stupid fucking head. Donna and I were best friends once , I loved her like a sister and as soon as Ope did his lag she turned on us. She turned her back when we offered her and the kids a safe haven. Bills paid , baby sitters ... Company.

I hopped in my Range rover and sped off home for a quick shower. I raced in through my front door after unlocking it and breathed a sigh of relief. My home was my personal sanctuary. No abiding by anyone else's rules. No pleasing anyone else. No hiding the fact any minute my minds going to explode because all I think of is Jax...

I gather all the things for another shower after my initial one before work.

Set on hot I jump in the water. I take a deep breath in and out , in and out with it I imagine all of my fears , all of my nightmares washing away. Slipping away and down the drain.

I slink out of the water and get dried. I slick my long black hair into a Pony tail after blow drying and rustle through my shorts drawer , Cali heat is unbearable.

I find a paid of denim high waist shorts and a white tank. I dress myself and say aloud "you're fuckable eli"

20 minutes after returning home im heading back out.

I pull into the drive way of Jaxs home and see a black caddy and smile at the long brown haired woman standing in the door way with a smoke in one hand and a garbage bag in the other

"Hey mama!" I exclaimed

"Hey baby" Gemma let out

I stormed over to the steps felt the warmest of embrace. Gemma moved a piece of hair from my face and said "get this out of your face it's too beautiful to hide baby"

I giggled and returned her embrace.

we walk inside and start what turned into a 5 hour clean up. We picked up needles and point bags , alcohol cans and disgusting stained clothes - None of which belonged to Jax.

Gemma and I were finishing up when I walked past a baby blue room which thankfully remained mostly untouched. I walked in and looked around my heart sinking thinking this should have been my baby's room.

I snap back to reality when the roar of a Harley Davidson pulls into the driveway. walking out I quietly closed the door and immediately let Gemma know everything was done. As I get to the hallway t section going through to the lounge and kitchen Jax opens his front door.

Jax smirks when he sees me standing his out from the door way " Hey ma , hey darlin'"

"Hey baby in here " Gemma shouted from the lounge.

"Hey handsome" I smiled.

"Thank you for this " jax whispered with a small hug and grip around my waist.

"Ma this is the last of the rubbish , baby's clothes are folded and the washing has all been hung out"

" You're a gift from the heavens baby - are you working tomorrow? "

"Nah day off it's Monday " I replied

"Okay baby wanna come home with me I wanna go shopping tomorrow in Lodi for the baby and i need your advice. Your clothes are at home"

I contemplated and I thought fuck it "yeah ma I'll come over. I need to stop by the clubhouse first to see ope otherwise I'm going to drive to his house and rip donnas head off - Don't ask either" I scolded Jax. Jax pretended to throw his hands up in defeat and lit a smoke.

After an hour of final touches , I ask Jax if he can take me to the club house and then back to his mothers. He obliged and we all go off to teller morrow.

I felt free with Jax. I felt at home on the back of his bike. I felt like I was whole but no one would ever know about these feelings. No one.

We pull into teller-morrow and the lot

is littered with bikes , family and crow eaters. The road between my legs comes to a halt and dies out , I then take off my helmet and make my way to the Clubhouse doors. Opening the doors I see serious discussions happening , pool playing and sluts trying to get in with anyone that will have them.

"Hey baby" I feel a wispy goatee on my neck and strong hands around my shoulders.

"Chibs!!" I exclaim

" heeeeeey doll face " get another set of hands around around my shoulders with a quick peck and then I see who I need and involuntarily scream across the room " FUCK YOU FOR NOT COMING TO SEE ME. FUCK YOU FOR LEAVING ME ON THE OUTS. FUCK YOU FOR LETTING DONNA PUSH US OUT " I stopped mid sentence and realised I had just lost control. I wiped the tear that started to form and composed myself. "FUCK YOU opie"

Opie ran towads me and embraced me in his famous bear hug and enveloped me until I stopped crying... This was it , 5 years of not having my rock and now he's back . 5 years I held it together and now he's back i'm going to fucking lose it. This is why I kept kept routine and solemnly ever detoured from what I knew worked.

"sis I'm sorry. I didn't know what to say." he apologized.

"FUCK I didnt realise I was so angry. I'm sorry for the scene but you fucking asshole - I punched opie's chest - You never came around. I know you gotta 9-5 but even a 2 ninure ' hey sis ' would have sufficed ope" I angrily scolded him.

My brother looked sad and down. I couldn't stay mad so I hugged him and told him i loved him and we'd speak when the birds were chirping and the sun was at its higest- A saying opie had adopted from school and we used it as our own.


	4. Unravelled

16th

~!!AUTHORS NOTE!!~

Hey my loves ,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the love and support. This chapter is a filler. I had 2 chapters sorted but they were deleted!! Ugh.

i hope you all enjoy what i was able to throw together and make a chapter.

if you want to keep up to date with miss Eli or see what i am up to and wanna check out funky quotes follow _hurihana_ on instagram!!

"You ripped him a new one darling , bit harsh?" Jax mumbled as I approached the doors to TM.

"Nah he's fine" I shot back.

"Hey can you take me home now" I realised what I said and corrected myself "I mean back to Ma's"

Jax nodded and said "Its always gonna be home darlin" he then disappeared back through the doors telling the guys where he was heading.

We both walked out of the clubhouse to Jax's Harley and he hopped on passing me his spare helmet. I chuckled and looked at it , reminiscing on the times so long ago that I lived care free. That I didn't consume myself with a schedule. A time more simpler. I stopped day dreaming and jumped on the bike wrapping my arms around Jax , as tight as I could.

Jax knew how free I felt on the bike. Jax knew how much I loved riding so a drive that took 10 minutes max to Gemmas he turned into an hour ride , stopping in at JTs grave site. We said hello and goodbye to his old man and jumped back onto the bike.

Jax and I eventually reached Gemma's and she stood in the door way smoking a cigarette looking pissed off. "Where the fuck were you two , Bobby said you left 2 hours ago???"

" Hey ma" Jax smirked giving Gemma a kiss on the cheek.

"sorry ma , you know I love riding. Jax took me for ride around out to the old falls just out of town"

"baby i dont wanna know what you were riding " Gemma chuckled

She could never stay mad so she welcomed me in with open arms.

Gemma pulled me aside as we walked in.

"you need to be there for him. He is spinning out of control. You are his safe haven."

I nodded at Gemma

"That's what family does" I replied sternly with a soft smile.

Gemma pulled dinner out of the oven and Jax and I tucked into the casserole , mash potato and greens Gemma cooked. I cleaned up and went to head for the room I used to sleep in. I said good night and stole a shirt Jax used to live in and laid on the bed , before I knew it I woke suddenly at 3 am needing a drink. I must have been tired I think I was snoring and woke myself up. I was a bit groggy but remembered where I was and headed toward the kitchen. I Heard heavy breathing and slinked into the lounge seeing Jax sleeping peacefully.

I loved watching him sleep not in a creepy way but i knew that His dreams were forgiving and it was the only place he wasn't judged. He wasn't a VP , he wasn't running guns and he got everything he desired... Her.

I watched for a wee while longer and walked back into the kitchen for a glass of water. Peering back over my shoulder Jax woke up and whispered "E is that you?"

I poured Jax a drink and walked back. Retracing my steps.

silently , i passed Jax his drink and sat on his legs Sinking back into the couch and swung my legs so I was stradling him loosely and laying on his legs resting my head on the arm rest. We spoke about high school and my family. We then moved subject to The one he loves. The one that ran away and left me to pick up the pieces. I went quiet and pretended to snore so Jax would shut the fuck up and thinking quietly about the bitch.

I woke up to a soft light peering through the open curtain and heard a faint knocking at the door. Jax pepped up and scrambled for his piece.

"wow drama queen I'll go and have a look see who it is first before we pull up on em, k" I quizzed Jax laughing.

My laugh turned into a low growl when I saw who was knocking.

"What the fuck do you want Tara"

Tara cocked her eyebrow and huffed at me. I saw red and all I wanted to do was lose it.

"I said what the fuck do you want" I bellowed louder this time.

" I'm here to speak with Jax about his son and the baby's mother "

Before I could reply Jax was behind me along with Gemma.

"something wrong with the kid?" Jax Asked Gripping me aroung the waist - A natural reaction for us both.

"I'd like it if we could speak privately" Tara asked.

Jax Nodded and lead Tara to the steps by his motorbike .

Gemma took my hand and we sat at the table.

"Clay said hes gonna join me along with sack. Why don't you go with Jax to see The baby?"

I was contemplating my next move when the sound of the door slamming and Dads cutlass pulling out of the driveway pulled me back to reality.

Gemma and I both look at Jax expecting the worst.

"Abels doing good. Doctor's are happy with his recovery but Wendy's in a bad way. Darlin think you can come with me to talk to Wendy?" Jax pleaded.

"Jax you know she hated me. I won't be much help ... I'm the midst of my sentence when I saw his face drop so I quickly recantered and said a simple "yes"

Jax lit up so I quickly hurried a shower and clothes change.

Pulling up to St Thomas Jax saw Tara again and from what I saw carried on a conversation from many many years ago. He was getting closer and she was pulling away.

I walked into the hospital and made my way to Abel , I asked the nurse in the room where Wendy Case Teller was and she pointed me to ward 4B room 18.

"Hey wendy" I whispered.

Wendy woke and asked what I was doing in her room.

"Tara said you weren't doing so well with Abel and everything that's happened. I kinda just wanted to extend myself and see if you were okay"

"E - I don't know what you're trying to achieve but you being here is just insulting. I can't see my son and you're probably going to swoop in like your slut sister and play mommy to my baby" Wendy shouted at me.

I understood her frustration and I tried to keep my cool but before knew it I had wrapped my hands around her throat.

Wendy was gasping for air scratching at my hands before I let go and fell back towards the door.

"He doesn't fucking love me Wendy" I screeched and ran off , out through the hospital rooms and back into the lobby.

Jax grabbed me around my shoulders and his face was overtaken with concern

"E what's going on"

"Nothing I just , seeing Wendy spooked me."

Tara walked past Jax and grabbed his kutte - smiling while doing so and he kissed her cheek.

I Looked up at Jackson and stared at him "So you're back in with my sister. Suppose were going to be in-laws now" I scoffed , clearly showing just how Jealous and twisted I was at their "reunion"

"E , she helped save Abels life. I owe her alot. You know I love her. I will always love her. I fucked my way through this life. Every time i was inside someone she was inside my head " Jax choked out.

I took a deep breath and regained my composure. I refused to let anyone see me weak so with a smile I replied. "You two are meant for eachother. I really hope it works out for you both this time"

I walked out of the hospital knowing Id regret pushing him back into her arms. i need to just go home and get back to me and my routine. Guilt swept over me about Wendy and i knew right then and there I've got to bury this bitch im becoming. I wasn't going to let Tara win again.


	5. Separation

~!! AUTHORS NOTE !!~

Hey my loves.

Thank you for sticking with me and helping me grow as a writer. I know I am still shitty but you all are so so kind!!!

Also note to who I believe to be the only person being a keyboard warrior hiding behind guest absuing me. I have had to actually delete 6 reviews again telling me to kill myself. I will never be anything in this world. I'm uneducated scum. To stop writing. I keep doing this because over 30 beautiful people read this story and I will forever be grateful and because those amazing people enjoy , i wont stop.

I Promise you I do get to explaining the Join between why I lived with Gemma and Not Piney because Eli seems to hold a more sincere and loving bond with her Uncle Piney however she does love Gemma like her own mom. All the guys had a hand in raising Little E. Elias and Tara share only the same dad...

It has been 9 days since I last saw Jax or Tara. Gemma came by the diner a few times and let me know he was out of town so it was safe to stop by the house for some quality time last Saturday.

I appreciated the fact Gemma stopped pushing for me to speak to him or her. I had to bury who I was becoming but it was Harder than I originally thought.

I got back to my schedule. I got back to a routine and I loved it. I was finding the peace my heart yearned for , but I knew deep down it was a false sense of peace because even deeper down feelings i ripped out of chest and stuffed into the pit of my soul were festering and it made me ugly. These feelings made me weak and vulnerable , the two feelings that my dad taught me to avoid - However Tara never got the lesson.

It was quiet but I liked it. My thoughts some times drifted away with the tune of a song but I always snapped back just as quick as I wandered.

It was Monday Mid morning and I was asked to go back into the cafe because someone was run off her feet. I personally believe my bestfriend was on a bender the weekend before and couldn't be fucked serving 4 or more customers in a day. I obliged though because she's the only friend I have. People in this town talk so we don't really mess with any of the other females.

I arrive 15 minutes before I was asked to start and decide to go in any way to get caught up on what's what for the day however seeing a row of Harleys I know I'm most likely going to be starting later then intended. I enter the metal doors and the bell rings above me. I instantly hear my name being whispered so i scan the room and to my relief i see some handsome familiar faces.

"Eeeeeeeee" is all that fills the diner and it's comforting. I walk over and greet everyone personally with a hug. The theme amongst the guys was " where have you been , why is she back in the picture"

I try to laugh it off lightly but I have to answer them.

"he loves her and he always will" I smile and proceed to change the subject.

"So whose hungry and who is having what?" I giggled as best I could.

Juice ordered blueberry pancakes.

Tig had a big breakfast and waffles.

Chibs ordered my special Irish coffee and toast .

Piney had a cup of coffee and bacon

Opie had the same as his pa ,

and the new prospect , Sack had some gluten free waffles.

"Alrighty my main men I will go and get the gorgeous Renee to whip this up and bring it out in a jiffy"

The guys roared and I headed to the kitchen where my bestfriend stood in the back foor way, hair of the dog in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

"BITCH!! no smoking or fucking drinking"

I squealed at Renee.

"You are in no place to judge me hoe. You have naughty dreams about your brother in law" Renee rolled her eyes and laughed at me.

I was taken aback and froze for a minute. I reevaluated myself and thought 'Jesus Christ when did I become a stickler'. I had to admit she did get me good with her come back.

"Ok skanky these are the orders"

I finished reading the orders and Renee sighed and groaned back to the stove and worked her magic.

The guys seemed to have enjoyed their breaksfast because they tipped us a whole weeks wage.

Before they all left we said individual goodbyes but Tig seemed more focused on getting his head between Renees tits.

Piney gently ushered me away from the group and asked if I was okay to which I replied I was.

Uncle P always has had a 6th sense with Ope and I. He knew when we were hurting or angry. He sensed this pain was deep because he asked again with more urgency this time.

I reassured Uncle Piney I was okay I haf just gotten busy that's why I wasn't around much now but I came to a compromise and told him I'd pop in for a beer when I knocked off.

We waved the guys goodbye and went to cleaning the Diner. I caught up with Renee seeing as the Diner was now desserted.

"So why did you say you'd go to TM when Jax is back?"

I squinted at Renee

"so why the bell were you listening to my conversation dumbo."

"Stop being a drama queen you weren't being quiet. You can lie to your uncle but you can't lie to me. Spill girlfriend."

I sighed - "you basically know everything that's wrong Nay. I'm just tryna bury the evil bitch I was becoming. Don't get me wrong I fucking hate Tara I always will but I want Jax to finally be at peace with himself and stop the war within. I fucking love him Nay." I stopped to catch my breath and blinked slowly off into the distance carrying on

"It kills me that I love someone who doesnt love me. I stayed to pick up what she dropped. I stayed and fixed what she broke all the while breaking my own fucking heart in the process. Yo I picked him up in Lodi when he got tanked and smashed that cop car , remember?" Renee nodded.

"When I lived at Ma's I'm the one that did everything for him when his old man died. I sat there for hours on and crying with him. I'm the one thay bore the brunt and I was fucking 14! All Tara was accuse me of fucking her boyfriend" I let out another frustrated sigh

"She fucking knew how fragile he was and 3 years after JT she leaves him aswell"

Renee empathized but she knew me too well if I dwell I spiral so as any bestfriend hugged me and then she gave me some words of wisdom. " I love you E but this mindset is toxic. Move the fuck on. Jax doesnt love you? so fucking what, it's his loss not yours princess. Go back yo unsuccessfully fucking men from tinder"

Renee wiped my tears and I smiled thanking her for always being the voice of reason.

At 7 the boss came in and relieved us of our duties so I managed to convince Renee into coming with me to TM. "One drink hoe and that's it" I reminded Renee laughing.

We hopped in the car and sped over , I had to internalize what I was going to say if I saw him.

It feels as if this place just won't let go of my soul - I'm so comfortable here. I see Gemma and embrace her. She gives Renee and I the warmest of welcomes as she does - If she likes you that is- And we walk through the lot to the clubhouse.

As we walk through I spot Jax and Tara having as what I assume to be an argument.

"YOU CANNOT FUCKING DO THIS JAX. I TOLD YOU ALREADY TO CUT HER OFF. YOU HAVE ALWAYS CHOSEN HER" Tara screamed across the lot.

"Go home Tara" Jax said firmly before getting up from the picnic table.

I don't think they saw us yet.

I approached the Doors and Jax so Renee went in while Tara was storming off to dad's cutlass.

His eyes full of heart ache Jax smiled sweetly and said hey darlin.

"Hey Jackson. You okay?"

Jaxs eyebrows furrowed together as he frowned " You only call me that when you're pissed off "

We both laughed. "Nah sounds more alluring. Trouble in paradise?" i asked.

Jax sighed and rubbed his face. " You know what she's like. She's tryna make me cut you off. But I can't do that E. "

"Nah I don't really now her all that well Jax. Remember we only share a dad. we share no good memories nor any kid experiences together"

Jax looked like a wounded puppy and I couldn't help but feel my arms raise to console him , instead and adjusted my hair , gave him a pat on the shoulder and moved from the place id been stuck majority of my life - At his side. His shit was no longer my burder. Nay was right this is toxic. I'm head strong , I'm a force to be reckoned with and with Jax i was a doormat.

My stomach was turning and flipping on itself for my decision but it needed to be done and I was proud of myself.

I stroll into the clubhouse and slumped into The seat next to Renee and Tig. I didn't pay them any mind until they were sucking face and getting a little too close to me so I moved but not before letting Renee know she had daddy issues.

I sat and mingled for a while before I got bored. I looked back every so often scanning for Jax. I wasn't much of a drinker so It time for home after a big bear hug from uncle Piney and Ope

Uncle Piney Told Juice to take me home , My ride was presumably sucking Tigs dick so I was stuck. I thanked Juice and we got to talking. I had spoken to him before but nothing like this. He was interesting. He was intelligent... Small talk turned into stories about the club and stories about our childhood. Why I stayed and why he came. 3 Hours of comfortable conversation I let Juice know he should get back to TM otherwise someone would come looking and find us both. He agreed and we went our separate ways.

I walked up the steps to my humble little abode and rustled around in my bag for my shiny gold house key. I let myself in and started to immediately strip down to my underwear through the front door , down the hallway and to my bedroom where I collapsed on my bed. I was exhausted. My soul was broken from having to detach from Jax. My heart was hurting from not consoling Jax like i had always done but my mind was clear and at ease because for once in my life I wasn't Jax's doormat and I didn't invest myself into his bullshit and act like it was affecting me. I was ... somewhat free.


End file.
